Dying matters – let’s talk about it

During Dying Matters Awareness Week (8-14 May) the Public Health Agency (PHA) and the Department of Health (DoH) are urging everyone to take the opportunity to talk openly about their wishes regarding their future care, dying, death and bereavement.

This year’s theme is ‘Dying Matters at work’ and Sally Convery, Nurse Consultant for Palliative Care at the PHA, is encouraging everyone, including workplaces to talk to each other about dying, death and bereavement.

“Many of us have specific wishes about how and where we would like to die and what we would like to happen after our death. However, we often neglect to talk about our wishes and thoughts with family and friends, perhaps due to fear of the subject or concern that we may upset others,” said Sally.

“Lack of understanding about what it means to be ill or care for someone who is dying, also mean that too many of us are struggle to cope when faced with life’s inevitable challenges. The workplace is no exception to this so we need to be mindful of the need to care for ourselves and each other.

“We spend so much of our lives at work – if we struggle to talk about death and grief, it can be difficult to react with compassion when our colleagues and friends need support.

"We want to create an open and compassionate society where we feel supported and everyone is comfortable facing the realities of dying, death and grief.

“If we don’t have these types of conversations, it can mean that people’s wishes go unfulfilled and families may struggle to make decisions. There may be important matters you want to address now rather than when time feels limited.”

Some simple steps that you can take to make your end of life experience better, both for yourself and for your loved ones, are:

1.            Getting your financial affairs in order, including making a will and checking with your employer and previous employers about pension arrangements;

2.            Share your funeral wishes with your loved ones;

3.            Plan your future care and support;

4.            Register your wishes as an organ donor and let those close to you know about your decision

5.            Talk through your wishes with your loved ones so they know your thoughts on them.                        

Diane Walker, Palliative Care in Partnership Macmillan Programme Manager with the Strategic Planning and Performance Group at the DoH said: “We want to get as many people as possible thinking, talking and acting during Dying Matters Awareness Week.

“Talking about dying, death and bereavement is in everyone’s interests as it can help ensure that we all have the opportunity to get the care and support we want, where we want it at the end of our lives.

“Even just having a chat with family, friends or colleagues about the importance of preparing for death can change perceptions. Through being more confident in talking about dying and taking small actions to plan for the future and support each other, together we can make a big difference. Talking about death does not bring it any closer. It is about planning for life.”

For more information see https://www.hospiceuk.org/our-campaigns/dying-matters/dying-matters-awareness-week